Understanding Covert Narcissists and Abuse

Learning healthy coping strategies can help them remain sober when they face triggers. Both conditions may influence the other, and some symptoms or behaviors of each condition can overlap. Any threat to their self-importance can lead to anger or passive-aggressive behavior. It’s crucial to navigate interactions with them carefully to avoid triggering their fragile self-esteem and need for admiration.

1. If someone you love needs treatment for alcohol use disorder, there are also new, online options that can make the process easier.
2. It’s crucial to navigate interactions with them carefully to avoid triggering their fragile self-esteem and need for admiration.
3. Whether you feel guilt, confusion, regret, grief, sadness, or anger, your feelings are valid.
4. Recognizing these commonalities can help you understand and cope with people who have Narcissistic Personality Disorder, untreated alcoholism, or both.

Is covert narcissism more common in men or women?

This emotionally abusive behavior is a tool for manipulation and to establish dominance over their admirers. Understanding these dynamics is crucial in addressing the complexities of alcohol use in individuals with narcissistic traits. When a person consumes alcohol, their inhibitions can decrease, leading to potential changes in behavior and decision-making. Alcohol can affect individuals differently, but it often amplifies pre-existing personality traits.

Impact on Personal Relationships

In fact, he reports, the traits of the overt narcissist and the covert narcissist are the same. Overt behaviors are those that can be easily observed by others, such as those of the traditional narcissist described earlier. Covert behaviors, however, are those that are more subtle and a bit less obvious to others. Common narcissistic traits include having a strong sense of self-importance, experiencing fantasies about fame or glory, exaggerating self abilities, craving admiration, exploiting others, and lacking empathy.

Where to Find a Support System

If they can get you to question your perceptions, it allows them the opportunity to manipulate and exploit you more. Covert narcissism is characterized by the same behaviors of overt narcissism that are displayed in less obvious, more subtle ways. The exact causes for this are not known, but genetics and early relationships may play a role. When considering the behavior of narcissists, it might be hard to imagine how someone could be a narcissist and be inhibited in their approach and behavior. A covert narcissist may be outwardly self-effacing or withdrawn in their approach, but the end goals are the same. Similarly, many people who misuse alcohol might display very few signs of narcissism.

What Is a Covert Narcissist?

Many people have fallen victim to the manipulative behaviors of a covert narcissist without realizing what has happened until they are already in emotional pain. Narcissistic personality disorder can be one of the more challenging mental health conditions to treat. In contrast, vulnerable narcissism, or covert narcissism, was a risk factor for future alcohol-related problems. Compared to grandiose narcissists, alcoholism: disease or a choice? considered a brain disease people in this group were more likely to acknowledge that they had a problem. In his book, The Narcissist You Know, Joseph Burgo includes the “Addicted Narcissist” as one type of Extreme Narcissism. Whether a person is a covert narcissist, alcoholic with narcissistic personality traits, or a person with a dual diagnosis, finding a treatment program that meets their needs is very important.

Jodi Clarke, LPC/MHSP is a Licensed Professional Counselor in private practice. Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today. Read more about living with a person who has AUD and managing a relationship with someone who has NPD. If your alcohol use is severe, you’ll likely need to go to an inpatient facility so that you can safely withdraw from alcohol. Alcohol withdrawal can be dangerous, so it’s important to seek medical help.

Both AUD and NPD have distinctive symptoms and features that occur independently of each other. Take our short alcohol quiz to learn where you fall on the drinking spectrum and if you might benefit from quitting or cutting back on alcohol.

On the other hand, overt narcissists exhibit grandiosity and seek constant admiration, making their controlling and demanding behavior more overt and noticeable. Covert narcissism may be less apparent than overt narcissism, but this doesn’t mean it is any less harmful. If you know someone who is a covert narcissist, take steps to protect yourself and your emotional well-being. Learn to recognize the signs, don’t take their behavior personally, and create distance between you and that person to help establish clear boundaries. While they may be aware on some level that their behaviors have a negative impact on other people, narcissists also tend to lack self-awareness and insight. Because they often believe they deserve the attention and accolades they seek, they may see nothing wrong with their behavior as long as it achieves the intended results.

If you have spent your childhood in the shadow of a narcissistic parent, you may identify with at least one of the following dysfunctional parent-child dynamics. The helpline at AddictionResource.net is available 24/7 to discuss the treatment needs of yourself or a loved one. This helpline is answered by Ark Behavioral Health, an addiction treatment provider with treatment facilities in Massachusetts and Ohio. Beginning down the road to recovery from alcohol or drug addiction may feel overwhelming, but that is where we can offer some assistance. Reach out to one of our addiction specialists for alcohol treatment help today. Treating both disorders while at a recovery treatment center can help a person remain sober once they’ve completed the program.

The associations between covert narcissism and alcohol abuse can result in heightened psychological distress and interpersonal difficulties. It’s crucial to recognize the symptoms of both conditions to provide effective treatment. Addressing xanax side effects concurrently through therapy, support groups, medication, and lifestyle adjustments is essential for promoting recovery and enhancing overall well-being.

Plus, it’s easy for a covert narcissist to burn themselves out by over-extending themselves for other people in an effort to be perceived as a good person. This means that vulnerable narcissists tended to recognize the existence of alcohol problems. An overall mean score of narcissism was calculated for the two subscales (i.e., grandiose and vulnerable narcissism). Internal consistency in the current study was alpha of .84 for the grandiose narcissism subscale and .79 for the vulnerable narcissism subscale. Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is one of the Cluster B personality disorders, which are characterized by unpredictable and emotional behavior.

It also found that people who watch internet pornography are more likely to have narcissism than people who do not. For instance, when the golden child performs well academically, a narcissistic parent might be inclined to inhalant abuse reward them disproportionately and boast about their achievements to everyone around. The problem arises when the golden child slips up—typically incurring an unwarranted amount of discipline, ridicule, and punishment.

If you say out loud, “Wow, I look horrible today,” others may come rushing in with positive compliments about how you don’t look that bad. If you tend to say things like, “I’m such a loser,” or “I’m such an idiot,” others will quickly step in to oppose those negative comments and come to your rescue. And those feeling of support and admiration, however sincere or surface-level, may feel like a boon to your self-esteem. Grandiose narcissism was also a significant predictor of a positive alcohol problem evaluation, over and above alcohol use, social desirability and vulnerable narcissism. In other words, grandiose narcissists are more likely to regard the alcohol problems that they may encounter as good. This may be because of the social benefits they bring (e.g., holding one’s liquor might be seen as a good quality and doing risky things while intoxicated could be seen as “cool” in some circles).